Tonight is a night of many many thoughts and feelings. There is always so much I want to say but it's really difficult to put in words. Life has it's complications and everything you do has it's own effect.

10 minutes ago I had this huge urge to blog in the toilet while bathing but now all my inspiration is lost. -__- Oh well I'm just gonna blog about something else.

2010 is coming to an end really quickly. A lot of things happened this year, well, nothing much on me but on others that still, affected me quite a bit. And I have to say even if I don't show it much, I really cherish my close friends now, probably bcus I'm getting older and my social circle is getting smaller. When I don't get to see them that often, I miss them quite a lot you know? Esp when I'm in school, it really sucks to have all your friends so far away from you. But this is life, I have to grow up and as long as I know they care for me like how I care for them. Whenever I say this I think about something which I wanted to say something but decided not to, because it's a mindset that I think I should change. On a lighter note, I have my poly clique which I'm really grateful for.

I don't really have one really really close friend that I can call a BFF. But I do have a few/many close friends that I can depend on. I used to think BFFs are overrated and I don't like that term. There's no such thing as forever. But somehow it feels really good to have one. Contradicting myself only eh.

The closest friend I have is probably Jolene, she is someone I really cherish a lot, and I can lose anybody but I absoutely cannot lose her as a friend. Maybe I'm not as important to her as how important she is to me, but if she fall, I WILL catch her. I don't know how to be a good friend, I don't know how to give good advice, but I will listen. I don't say nice things bcus the truth always hurts (HAHA) and I act like I don't give a shit for anything all the time, but I do care. Things changed a lil recently, we're not as close as we used to be but it's alright because things like she's still a very impt friend to me, doesn't change. When Daryl said on facebook, "That's why I drew you two together!" and when Yiquan said isn't it enough to know that someone cares? Yes, it is indeed more than enough.

Oh man this is so les.

Don't stop believing, life has it own ways to tell you it's worthwhile afterall.