To someone, this is for you only:-

Honestly, I myself don't know what's the problem.
Why we don't talk anymore? Why this cold war happened more than once?
I want it to be gone but somehow I don't know how to let it just disappear.
I know it's my own problem. But what's the problem? I seriously have no answer to the question.


To anyone of whom it may concern:-
And I know my attitude sucks, but if you don't tell me what's my problem, you think I'd know? You think I won't want to change? Somehow, I'm really sad. What if no one told me..? What if things just go worse? So I'm supposed to lose you all of you?

If there's a problem with me, I'm telling you I want to change. So please do tell me the problem yea. Don't worry, I won't cry, I'd try to control my temper and stop cutting your words and listen to you obediently till the end and see what I can do to improve. But please do understand that I am unable to change overnight, everytime takes time but I'm trying to be a little happier from now on and shake off the nickname of 'Depression'.

Anyway, you know some emotions are really hard for me to express because I'm not a very expressive person. I think I everytime express myself in the wrong way. That's why sometimes when I'm a lil too loud or a lil too direct, most of the time I thought you all understand that I'm just how I'm and I've no evil intentions, most of the time when I get agitated easily it does not mean I'm pekchek or angry even if I look like that.. Most of the time I'm not pekchek, I thought it sounded like a joke. ><

I think.. the days where I'm in good mood are too little that everyone only rmb me as being the lil pissed off queen. Hehe.

I don't know if you all know but when I don't talk sometimes.. it's not that I'm giving attitude, it's either I'm really tired (and I get tired really easily so.. the chances of me talking and in a happy face = very rare chance to see) or either I don't feel like talking or I don't feel comfortable. It's not like I want to have a sulky face all the time, it's in my face, it's in my face, i'ts in my face, I wish I can stop looking so tired and depressed all the time. I got called 'Depression' for a reason.

As for explains for my attitude these days:- Not many know that I was going through a very difficult period during the start of the year till now when things are getting better. The big big big fight at home, the DAE rejections I got, 3 polys rejected me and I was really sad. That day when NP rejected me I cried, because I tot NYP will surely not accept me as well. Everyday I question myself on what if I have to stay in RP, what if I continue to struggle while studying in RP. I know some of you may not see what's the problem in this, but to me it was the days where I got really sad bout every lil thing bcus nothing seem to work well for me. Even work wasn't that enjoyable as the past..

I'm sorry that I kup your phone and not saying bye. Bcus I don't really like to talk on the phone, I like conversations sweet and simple and most of the time I don't say bye because I don't think there's a need to.. (Opps?) Okay, so next time i'd try to wait till you put down the phone alrdy then I put down so there won't be situations like that happening again, and I'd try to be nicer to you on the phone. I'm sincerely sorry bout anyone who I have offended in the past, hope you forgive me and yes, I'd try to improve myself.


你不说，我不懂。